We’re all surrounded by domineering people may it be on social media or in our private lives. They think they have a right to control you and mould your opinions until they no longer remain “yours”. I am not saying we shouldn’t be open to contrasting ideas and thoughts but honestly? We should stick to our decisions no matter how less worthy they may seem. Accepting and changing is divergent than being imposed on. Everyone should have their self-respect intact while dealing with control freaks.
Control freaks are those who think they should be obeyed otherwise they will apply these two tactics:
- They will show aggression.
- They will emotionally manipulate you.
With aforementioned tactics, anyone can be easily swayed. If you don’t know how to hold your ground and fall prey to bullies easily then first of, always remember to:
“Think before you act”
There is so much logic behind these words. You can’t control other people’s action (Unless you’re a mystic hypnotizer) But you can control your reactions to them. You don’t have to respond the way most people do or think you should do. Scrutinize these points below and act accordingly.
Who you are talking to
Controllers can be anyone from your family, friends, colleagues, relatives, strangers, your boss or even your mother in law (If you have one that is). You cannot backlash at your boss without facing the consequences. So before reacting in a certain way, just keep in mind who you are talking to before you fire.
We as human beings are blind to our own faults. We just know how to point out other people flaws so before you say anything to anyone, try to understand where you stand and where the other person is coming from without being judgemental. See things from a different perspective. Does the situation needs to be taken care of or is it just getting bigger inside your head?
Giving into a controlling person might feel like keeping the peace for the moment. What it starting is a very toxic pattern. If you are busy then say it and be firm with your words. Don’t feel guilty about it. Remember, you’re not a doorbell. Learn to tell them what is not acceptable to you. Don’t fight with controlling people, it will turn into a cat or dog fight and they will act as a victim making you the culprit.
They’d discontinue a relationship rather than admitting that they are wrong.
Response to: Mild Situations
Someone with a condescending behaviour will keep their ego a priority. Here, use humour to diffuse the tension. In many situations, such people can be influenced with a little laughter and a light-hearted joke. Start a friendly conversation and make the controllers think that it is not such a big deal.
Response to: Serious Situations
So before you respond, maintain a calm composure. Shut up and listen to them, Let them finish and after listening, tell them where they were right. After they start to think that think they got you, Now it’s the time to take aim and shoot! Making it look like a normal conversation but don’t miss even a single shot. Give them the answer they deserve. Neither sugar coat your words nor make it hard for them to swallow. Handle the situation according to the person you are talking to.
After realizing that they have lost, They will probably try to take another jab at you by being emotionally manipulative but don’t fall prey into any traps and stick to the strategy. Keep it neutral or else you will find yourself standing where you were before.
We live in this world with different people have different personalities. We should learn to understand and deal with everyone instead of breaking ties and blaming everyone for the way they are. Learn to accept people with all the differences because
You will find peace from attachments, not from detachments.
Faiza Ahmed is an Insightful person, who forgets every little thing but remember details of centuries old incidents, careless, clumsy but a mindful life-liver, wants to make life simpler and understandable. Enough talking- I need a nap now.